What Happened?

Our words
Will never be the same
As they used to be.
The choices we made
Tore us apart
Slowly,
And neither of us
Bothered to reach out
And take hold of the other’s hand
To hold us together.
We stared at each other
With sadness illuminating in our eyes
As the truth eventually
Showed its ugly face;
Our past was never real.
Everything we thought was right before
We now realize was always lies
Made for each other
To shield us from the loneliness
In our lives.
We both needed hope…
But then you found real hope
And left me
Like I never really mattered.

We’ll patch each other up though,
Right?

Hun, I Love You, But.

Keep your dreams out of the skies,
Your hopes held not-so-high,
And your eyes out for lies…
And I could give you a billion reasons for why.

Don't Lie to Me.

Despite how hard you try to hide it,
Secrets lie between us;
I can see them
Seeping into the air in front of you
And clouding around your mouth.

In the Blink of an Eye.

Through this schoolyard field I rush
And run
Trying so hard
To escape this chaos
That has so suddenly
Come about.
I silence the screams and cries
Of every living body around me,
And especially the ones that suffer,
By bringing myself elsewhere
Into a fantasy.
Here,
It’s a meadow
In which I skip
And frolic
And race through,
Sharing playful laughs
With invisible friends.
We pick flowers—
Dandelions to make wishes upon.
And we just lay in the grass,
Having ourselves a silent conversation
While cloud shapes float by.
Eventually we will go, though,
Through forest trails,
Back to our unfortunate realities.
The only thing
To transport back with me
Will be
The sound my hair makes
As the wind swishes through it,
Tangling and untangling numerous strands of curly hair
As I run.

Follow Me Into the Dark.

I wander through this maze,
Hopelessly following
Black shadows that cross my path
And disappear,
Ignoring the urgent chirps of birds
Warning me to turn the other way
And flee at my fastest speed.
But little do these noise-makers know
That it’s always shadows
That lead me to safety and comfort.

Curses.

And it’s days like these
When I wish such a curse didn’t live inside of me
And possess my being.

Leaving Home.

A good idea
It might be
To scrounge up the money
That I need.
But the “might”
Is what worries me—
Maybe I’m not ready to yet leave.

Busbusbus.

Small talk
On the bus
Doesn’t seem so awkward
When our focus is on
The unique, unmistakable sounds
Of a moving bus
And the intriguing conversations
Of others.

When There Were Butterflies,

Everything was amplified.
The colors of the world
Were brighter
And of higher contrast,
The days seemed to
Go on forever
In a neverending summer,
The constant laughs and smiles
Made life look so happy…
And the numbers were higher;
Temperatures, hours of sunlight,
And how many caterpillars there were.

Now, life is so dull;
Everything has faded
And become depressing.
Each day blends into the next,
The dread growing.
And there seems to be
Less
Of what makes life worth it;
Less butterflies
Soar through the sky
During sunny summer days.

The Things Not Mentioned.

Did I ever tell you?

I tend to keep my tendencies to myself.

Let’s just keep the past in the past.

But
Secrets
Could hurt you.

I’m sorry.

Always left with a loss of words...

I don't deserve something so pretty.

No chance to redeem yourself;
I’m gone.

Wishful Thinking

You make me wish.

On this couch
We lay.
Your body rests
Beside mine
With your legs
Beautifully entangled
With mine.
One hand of yours
Grips mine;
There, I can feel your
Struggle to stay awake.
Gently,
I tickle your sides
With the fingernails
On my free hand.
The light
Slips through the window,
Casting shadows
So that I can barely see you
With the dimness of the room,
Yet I admire you
And your features anyway.
Just above the volume
Of a whisper,
We speak to each other
With pauses
To share kisses.
Somewhere inbetween
Those moments of
Contact between our lips
The words “I love you”
Are spoken;
Not from my mouth though.
I know I cannot
Return those words to you,
For I do not yet feel that way
And don’t approve of lying
About such strong feelings.
So instead I tell you truths
Of how happy I am.

And the more laughs we share,
And the more I look at you,
And the more I hear your voice,
And the closer we get,
The more this feels like a dream…
The more you feel like a simple
Character
From a too-perfect dream.
When will it all crash down upon me?
I hope never.